Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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