Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
