Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
