There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we made out on top of his cat.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
