i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
