Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
