Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
