It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
