I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
