yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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