umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
