I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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