im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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