If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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