The maid of honor just puked.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
