But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
