I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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