Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
