do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
