i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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