it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
