yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
