If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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