I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
