I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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