I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
