I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
