yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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