I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They took my balls.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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