bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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