Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
