i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
