I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize