i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
