I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
