her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
