sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
