if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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