I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize