My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
