she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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