Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
did i just pee glitter
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
