I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize