in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
