Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
