Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
