The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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