How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
