brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
