There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
