Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
