the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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