very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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