Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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