Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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