i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
