Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
