Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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