Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
